November 1999

Soulmates

Two souls with but a single thought
Two hearts that beat as one
~Friedrich Halm

Perhaps one of the most sought after questions people have is "Will I ever meet my soulmate?" It seems as though everyone is searching for this enigmatic being. Some are wondering whether it exists; others, whether they have met their soulmate; and still others wonder if they will ever meet their soulmate and when. People want to know how they will recognize their soulmate when they meet him or her. What is the definitive sign that one has met their soulmate? The first question which must be asked before any others may be answered is this: What exactly is a soulmate?

Let's define the word "soulmate." Technically, we must break this compound work into its component parts, since the dictionary does not offer a definition for the word "soulmate."

Soul: n. 1. The animating and vital principle in a person often conceived as an immaterial entity that survives death. 2. A spirit; ghost. 3. A human being. 4. The central or vital part of something. 5. A person considered as the embodiment of an intangible quality. 6. A person's emotional or moral nature. 7. Emotional or expressive intensity, esp. in music.

Mate: n. 1. One of a matched pair. 2. A spouse. 3. One of a pair of breeding animals. 4. A close associate. 5. A deck officer on a merchant ship ranking below the master. v. 1. To join closely; pair. 2. To unite in marriage. 3. To pair for breeding.
(The American Heritage Dictionary, © 1983)

From this separation, we must now create a unified definition, using the most widely accepted meaning for what a soulmate is.

Soulmate: n. One of a pair of human beings who have a divine, intimate connection at the level of the soul, having a relationship which transcends death and a meaning beyond which is outwardly apparent.

According to Thomas Moore in his book "Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship," he defines soulmates this way: "A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that takes place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship if so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life." The Hebrew equivalent of soulmate is bashert, meaning "the one God has fated for you." In "Soul Mates and Twin Flames," Elizabeth Clare Prophet makes a distinction between types of soulmates. She defines soulmates as ones who "come together because they are working on mastering the same type of karma and developing the energies of the same chakra. ...soul mates have an attraction that is based on the sacred labor and on the path of self-mastery. A soul mate is like the echo of oneself in Matter working at the same task to fulfill a blueprint for God." She defines Twin Flames as: "souls who were created together in the beginning, two halves of a divine whole." Prophet further elaborates on the emotional connection of these Twin Flames by saying that they have "a love so powerful as to elevate and ennoble all it touches and to purify and renew the stream of mankind's awareness of what true love can be and conquer."

To know if someone is truly your soulmate, there are certain qualities which you can look for. According to Bob Lancer, in "The Soulmate Process," there are "Soulmate Indicators;" signs which will alert you that a person may be "the one." They are:

The "magic question" it seems that everyone is asking is, "How can I find my soulmate?" Everyone seems to be searching for this perfect relationship that may or may not exist. The very term "soulmate" is a cliche in dating services. However, in reality, a soulmate is anything but trite. When most of us use the word "soulmate," we are referring to that one special romantic relationship where we have found someone who brings us utmost joy in our lives; someone we feel extremely comfortable with and desire to share our deepest, most honest intimate thoughts and actions. Although there is a checklist of qualities which may help us to determine if we have, indeed, met our soulmate, when we have truly encountered this divine relationship, there is no doubt. The only doubts are cast by our own inability to accept that something could actually be as wonderful as it seems. Like all matters which require faith, a soulmate relationship is not something which can or should be proven. It is something we believe in because we "just know." It is our intuitive calling which we must readily accept with thankfulness and praise.

Rather than spend our lives in search of the elusive soulmate relationship, we must trust in the notion that if there is a soulmate for us on this planet, there is no force which could keep us separated from him or her. Soulmates have a way of connecting; of finding one another despite the odds. It can be compared to finding a needle in a haystack. Sure, you could spend your whole life sifting through bits of straw looking for the needle, or you could just relax and have a pleasant roll in the hay and when you least expect it, the needle will probably poke you in the rear. Soulmates usually show up when we stop looking for them. The greatest way to find your soulmate is to become your soulmate. In this, I am referring to the universal principle of "like attracts like." Become the kind of person who you would want to be with. The whole adage of "opposites attract" is ludicrous. Who would possibly want to be around someone who's personality and interests were entirely opposite their own? If you start emanating a loving, desirable personality, you cannot help but to attract the same.

Now let's explore why we feel we need to find a soulmate to feel "complete." First of all, no person is incomplete. Each of us is a complete soul, an entire being. We do not lack components which can only be provided by some other person. Yet, on the same token, we are all one. We are a union of God, created by One True God as one people of God. We are all members of one spiritual family to which we are called to unite. Social relationships build the body of God and there is power in these bonds we create with others. Also, realizing the power of love and coupling it with the power of relationship, we recognize that intimate, loving relationships make us stronger and more secure; offer us encouragement and camaraderie. While a special relationship may seem to fill an emptiness inside, it is not an emptiness created by our incompleteness, but rather an emptiness created by our loneliness and weakness caused by our separation from the family of God and the lack of loving relationships in our lives.

There are different types and levels of soulmate relationships. The most basic type of soulmate relationship is one where we have had an encounter with a person in a previous life or many lives. We may have been related to them in some way, worked with them, had a sexual encounter, or even a negative relationship. This previous connection is carried over with us to the current life. Our souls "know" one another and feel a familiarity even if we are strangers in this current existence. This unexplained bond we share is merely a hidden remembrance seeping into our intuitive mind. These soulmates may end up being our best friends, our parents, our children, our spouses, or even our worst enemies. A different kind of soulmate relationship is a karmic relationship. This is where we have some challenge which must be overcome through a difficult relationship. We have negative energy to work out before we can move on. When the karmic debt has been paid, we can leave the relationship and go on. This may be especially evident in some marriages where the two seem to be constantly bickering or never seem to get along, but can't seem to end the marriage. The final type of soulmate relationship, and perhaps the most cherished, is the twin flame connection. Twin flames are those who are reflections of our own souls, those with whom we feel an overwhelming affinity for. Since twin flames may not incarnate at the same time, it is not always possible that your twin flame to be living on this earth the same time you are. Some theorize that not every soul has a twin flame. Others believe that each soul was originally a combination of masculine and feminine energies which were separated into separate, twin beings which desire strongly to unite and reform the ancient bond.

Each of us probably has our own idea of what a soulmate is or should be. Some of us have found their soulmate. Others are still eagerly searching. Regardless of where you are in your soulmate ideology, it is important to remember that all relationships are sacred, bringing us more intimately within the One Spirit of God. There is no perfect relationship. None of us are perfect. We cannot expect a "magic" relationship to suddenly appear and take away all our problems. Soulmate relationships do exist, but are not problem-free. They require even more care than casual encounters. Obstacles always seem to get in the way of achieving our dreams and having a great romantic relationship, but don't give up. Your soulmate is out there. He or she is probably looking for you at this very moment. Stop looking and start praying. Look inside your heart and create a place where your soulmate will want to reside. When the time is right, it will happen. Have faith that will find your soulmate if you haven't already. Be the best person that you can be. Live a life of goodness, light, and love and you will draw unto yourself goodness, light and love. You have the power to create your reality; your destiny. Believe that it will happen. Have faith and it will be done. Never give up. Love never fails.

© 1999 Jennifer N. Ayers-Gould, Starr-Rhapsody Creations. No part of this article may be printed or copied without written consent from the author.

 
 

Share your thoughts and insights about this month's Featured Article 
on the Spiritual Midwifery Message Board.


Review previous articles:
November 1999: Soulmates
December 1999: Religion vs. Spirituality
January 2000: Transcendence
February 2000: Sacred Sexuality
March 2000: Birth: Body, Mind and Spirit
April 2000: Remembering to Breathe
May 2000: Does God Laugh?
June 2000: Synchronicity
July 2000: Life Beyond Life
August 2000: Sign of the Cross
September 2000: Unconditional Love
October 2000: Faith: Believing Without Seeing

November 2000: The Straight and Narrow Path
December 2000: Prayer
January 2001: To Forgive Is Divine
February 2001: Divine Femininity
March/April 2001: Satan: Person or Personification?
August 2001: Is Jesus the ONLY Way?
September 2001: Meditation on Meditation
October 2001: The Holy War Paradox
November/December 2001: Love Is All There Is

March/April 2002: Traumatic Approach of God
May/June 2002: The Girl Who Knew Too Much
July 2002: One Nation Under God?
August 2002: Death: Opening the Door
April 2003: A Fundamental Problem
February 2004: De-Medicalizing and Re-Humanizing Childbirth in America
May 2004: How Do You Change the World...When It Doesn't Want to Be Changed?
June 2005: Overview of Classical Tantra
July 2005: Sex is not a Four-Letter Word
August 2005: Living a Spiritual Life in a Material World
December 2005: The Magic of Christmas
January 2006: Where in God's Name Did We Go Wrong?
May 2006: Disconnection
July 2006: The Secret
August 2006: The Purpose of Pain
October 2006: Hope to Carry On
April 2007: Who Am I Supposed to Be and How Have I turned Out? by Gina E. Jones

Questions or comments about this website may be directed to


home featured article philosophy message board guest book software
events music books links art & poetry